can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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