dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
