she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
