Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
