Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
