the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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