The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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