Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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