i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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