win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
