i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
