U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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