Do you still have your period?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
