ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
