i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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