I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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