I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
