hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
