You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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