Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
