So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
