not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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