i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize
