I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
