oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
