Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We are all done wearing pants today
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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