I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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