Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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