I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
