Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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