using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
