He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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