did you get engaged???
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
