you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
