There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
