At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
