talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
