But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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