Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
