I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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