well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
