i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
