why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
