do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My bed smells like the plague
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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