return my video game
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
