I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
