Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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