So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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