He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
