yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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