We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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