ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
