these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
